16 Lessons I Learned in 2016

Today is the first day of our 365-page story. 2016 had its highs, lows, and lessons in between. Here are the 16 that I took away from the year.

1| Vet before you invest.

It’s easy to get caught up in the promise that a coach/mentor/other businessperson will make in exchange for your hard earned dollars. Whether it’s a program/masterclass/course that says you can ___________ (insert desired outcome) in X amount of days/weeks/months, or a PR service that guarantees media exposure, make sure you do your due diligence. Do they have experience serving people in your industry? What’s their track record? Is there social proof of their results? Be sure they have been where you’re trying to go.

2| Celebrate small wins.

Sometimes I’m so focused on the big goal that I lose sight of the little things I did to make that big goal happen. I’ve since learned to celebrate the baby steps because they play a huge part in the milestone.

3| Respect the process.

Social media will have you feeling like you’re behind on everything. What? So and so got engaged/married? So and so bought a house? So and so is traveling again? I’ve learned to be content with MY pace and MY blessings. As much as I may have a timeline, and I want things to be done now, now, NOW, none of that matters to God because He goes off His own timeline. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m learning to respect the process, and have more patience.

4| Nurture your relationships, and part ways with those that no longer serve you.

It’s never a good feeling when you receive a text or phone call from someone out the blue, only to find out they’re reaching out because they want something from you. Checking in with someone just because goes a long way. Building and sustaining meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships is always a win in my book.

5| Not every opportunity is a good one. Learn to say no.

When I published “I Am Unique!” early last year, I was so excited to get my very first speaking engagement to share my story. Granted, it was my first experience so I didn’t know what to expect. I learned that not every opportunity is a brand fit and meets your bottom line, and it’s okay to express that and not feel bad when you have to respectfully decline.

6| Know your worth.

This goes along with Lesson #5. I was approached by a college professor to share my entrepreneurial journey with her students. When I asked the university’s speaker budget, the professor let me know they didn’t have one, and that most speakers don’t charge because they consider the opportunity as exposure and an act of community service. While I appreciated her invite, I knew my value. Whether you’re a full time entrepreneur or a side-hustler, everything you do has to be intentional. What you do with your time, what is free versus what requires a fee -- everything has to be intentional. Knowing your worth sets the standard for how people treat you in business.

7| Push through – even when the going gets tough.

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I entered my children’s book brand in a Shark Tank-like competition powered by my alma mater. That was easily the hardest thing I did all of 2016. Only having 5-minutes to sell your brand, in additional to being critiqued each week left me feeling on edge and ready to give up. It took every ounce of me to push through – that push earned me 3rd place out of the 34 teams who participated.

8| Absorb, then EXECUTE.

I did a lot of procrastinating last year. I procrastinated for a couple of reasons. First, I just didn’t want to do that “thing” because it wasn’t operating in my genius and I didn’t have the funds to outsource and second, FEAR. I put things off because I was afraid that what I desired would come true and I wouldn’t be able to handle it. One of my favorite ways to procrastinate is to consume information. Be it a podcast, book, or course, I figure that at least I’m acquiring knowledge so I’m not actually unproductive, right? WRONG. And I knew that, deep down. The information you acquire is no good if you don’t actually apply it. In 2017, I’m working on not allowing fear to paralyze me.

9| Create your own impact.

An employer told me that my contributions did not directly impact the business. Last year, I made it my mission to create an impact through things that were in alignment with my gifts and purpose – one of them being “I Am Unique!”

10| Lean more on your purpose than a title.

I went to a party last year and a number of the guests wore their profession as a sense of identity – like, their job title and credentials was their main source of validation. It made me wonder, Who are you without your title? There are folks out there who have the highly acclaimed roles and credentials, but they hate their jobs and yearn for fulfillment. We (myself included) oftentimes get hung up on titles and image, that we forget about what really matters, and that is whether we are using our natural gifts and talents for a greater purpose.

11| Pull others up while you climb.

If a book you read changed your life, gift it to someone who’s been going through it. If you caught wind of a webinar that could help your friend with her business, send her the link. Sharing the light doesn’t diminish your own.

12| Stay prayerful – through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

No additional explanation needed.

‍

 13| If you think your life sucks, there’s always someone out there who has it worse. Be grateful.

I’m not gonna lie – toward the end of 2016, I was feeling down about my life because I wasn’t progressing at the pace I wanted. I started a mental list of all the things I still didn’t have or still hadn’t accomplish. I snapped out of my negative rut when someone close to me, who has been suffering from a neurological condition, got progressively worse. I checked myself quick. Whatever your circumstance is, remember it could always be worse. Practicing gratitude has made me focus on the good, as opposed to always dwelling on the bad.

14| Find the lesson in the disappointment.

As my grandmother says, “Every disappointment is for a [wo]man’s good.” I believe disappointments are God’s way of protecting us from an unfavorable outcome.

15| Protect your space.

This goes along with Lesson #4. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Take inventory of the people you allow in your space.

16| Self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary.

I feel as women, we tend to sacrifice ourselves for our families, significant others, jobs, etc. We give and give and give until we’re burned out. It’s okay to pour into ourselves just as much (or even more) as we pour into others. Refueling with a massage is necessary. Re-centering during a yoga class is necessary. That mani-pedi is necessary. “Me time” is necessary.

‍Wishing you all the best in 2017! Which of these lessons resonate with you the most?

‍

‍Today is the first day of our 365-page story. 2016 had its highs, lows, and lessons in between. Here are the 16 that I took away from the year.

1| Vet before you invest.

It’s easy to get caught up in the promise that a coach/mentor/other businessperson will make in exchange for your hard earned dollars. Whether it’s a program/masterclass/course that says you can ___________ (insert desired outcome) in X amount of days/weeks/months, or a PR service that guarantees media exposure, make sure you do your due diligence. Do they have experience serving people in your industry? What’s their track record? Is there social proof of their results? Be sure they have been where you’re trying to go.

2| Celebrate small wins.

Sometimes I’m so focused on the big goal that I lose sight of the little things I did to make that big goal happen. I’ve since learned to celebrate the baby steps because they play a huge part in the milestone.

3| Respect the process.

Social media will have you feeling like you’re behind on everything. What? So and so got engaged/married? So and so bought a house? So and so is traveling again? I’ve learned to be content with MY pace and MY blessings. As much as I may have a timeline, and I want things to be done now, now, NOW, none of that matters to God because He goes off His own timeline. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m learning to respect the process, and have more patience.

4| Nurture your relationships, and part ways with those that no longer serve you.

It’s never a good feeling when you receive a text or phone call from someone out the blue, only to find out they’re reaching out because they want something from you. Checking in with someone just because goes a long way. Building and sustaining meaningful, mutually beneficial relationships is always a win in my book.

5| Not every opportunity is a good one. Learn to say no.

When I published “I Am Unique!” early last year, I was so excited to get my very first speaking engagement to share my story. Granted, it was my first experience so I didn’t know what to expect. I learned that not every opportunity is a brand fit and meets your bottom line, and it’s okay to express that and not feel bad when you have to respectfully decline.

6| Know your worth.

This goes along with Lesson #5. I was approached by a college professor to share my entrepreneurial journey with her students. When I asked the university’s speaker budget, the professor let me know they didn’t have one, and that most speakers don’t charge because they consider the opportunity as exposure and an act of community service. While I appreciated her invite, I knew my value. Whether you’re a full time entrepreneur or a side-hustler, everything you do has to be intentional. What you do with your time, what is free versus what requires a fee -- everything has to be intentional. Knowing your worth sets the standard for how people treat you in business.

7| Push through – even when the going gets tough.

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I entered my children’s book brand in a Shark Tank-like competition powered by my alma mater. That was easily the hardest thing I did all of 2016. Only having 5-minutes to sell your brand, in additional to being critiqued each week left me feeling on edge and ready to give up. It took every ounce of me to push through – that push earned me 3rd place out of the 34 teams who participated.

8| Absorb, then EXECUTE.

I did a lot of procrastinating last year. I procrastinated for a couple of reasons. First, I just didn’t want to do that “thing” because it wasn’t operating in my genius and I didn’t have the funds to outsource and second, FEAR. I put things off because I was afraid that what I desired would come true and I wouldn’t be able to handle it. One of my favorite ways to procrastinate is to consume information. Be it a podcast, book, or course, I figure that at least I’m acquiring knowledge so I’m not actually unproductive, right? WRONG. And I knew that, deep down. The information you acquire is no good if you don’t actually apply it. In 2017, I’m working on not allowing fear to paralyze me.

9| Create your own impact.

An employer told me that my contributions did not directly impact the business. Last year, I made it my mission to create an impact through things that were in alignment with my gifts and purpose – one of them being “I Am Unique!”

10| Lean more on your purpose than a title.

I went to a party last year and a number of the guests wore their profession as a sense of identity – like, their job title and credentials was their main source of validation. It made me wonder, Who are you without your title? There are folks out there who have the highly acclaimed roles and credentials, but they hate their jobs and yearn for fulfillment. We (myself included) oftentimes get hung up on titles and image, that we forget about what really matters, and that is whether we are using our natural gifts and talents for a greater purpose.

11| Pull others up while you climb.

If a book you read changed your life, gift it to someone who’s been going through it. If you caught wind of a webinar that could help your friend with her business, send her the link. Sharing the light doesn’t diminish your own.

12| Stay prayerful – through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

No additional explanation needed.

 13| If you think your life sucks, there’s always someone out there who has it worse. Be grateful.

I’m not gonna lie – toward the end of 2016, I was feeling down about my life because I wasn’t progressing at the pace I wanted. I started a mental list of all the things I still didn’t have or still hadn’t accomplish. I snapped out of my negative rut when someone close to me, who has been suffering from a neurological condition, got progressively worse. I checked myself quick. Whatever your circumstance is, remember it could always be worse. Practicing gratitude has made me focus on the good, as opposed to always dwelling on the bad.

14| Find the lesson in the disappointment.

As my grandmother says, “Every disappointment is for a [wo]man’s good.” I believe disappointments are God’s way of protecting us from an unfavorable outcome.

15| Protect your space.

This goes along with Lesson #4. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Take inventory of the people you allow in your space.

16| Self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary.

I feel as women, we tend to sacrifice ourselves for our families, significant others, jobs, etc. We give and give and give until we’re burned out. It’s okay to pour into ourselves just as much (or even more) as we pour into others. Refueling with a massage is necessary. Re-centering during a yoga class is necessary. That mani-pedi is necessary. “Me time” is necessary.

Wishing you all the best in 2017! Which of these lessons resonate with you the most?